Breakfast
by FreezePride
Summary: Characters: Braig (Xigbar), Dilan (Xaldin), Even (Vexen), Aeleus (Lexaeus), Ansem Pairings: LexVex, mentions of XigXal Braig thinks it's ridiculous that he can't manage to get any sleep and it's high time SOMEONE taught those two a lesson.


"That's it, I'm done!" Braig shouted as he burst into the kitchen.

Dilan gave him a sidelong glance as he started up the coffee maker and then got back to mixing the batter for pancakes with the practiced ease of muscle memory. "It's not really that bad, Braig." He observed cooly, sprinkling in cinnamon.

"Easy for you to say. You sleep like the dead!" Braig snapped, a touch too shrilly, causing Dilan to give him a warning glare from over his well-muscled shoulder. As true as the statement was, it was no one's business as to why Braig knew exactly about Dilan's sleeping habits quite personally.

The freeshooter huffed petulantly, crossing his arms across his lithe chest. "Well, at least we try to keep it down." He admitted under his breath. "They've been going at it for weeks-"

"Three days." Dilan interjected.

"Whatever. And, do you know how much sleep I've been able to get in that time?" He continued in growing hysteria. Dilan looked over one last time to quirk a brow at him.

"Sixteen minutes. Sixteen blessed minutes of honest sleep. I counted."

"How did you count if you were-"

"Shut up! I counted it." He hissed, eye twitching spasmodically.

Dilan tried to hold back a snigger as he added just a bit more flour to the batter and continued to stir. "So, what do you plan on doing, hm? If you blab, Aeleus takes the fall, you know." The other guard pointed out, ever the tactician. Braig groaned in agreement at the realization. Getting back at Even would be sweet revenge. Wiping that ungodly superior smile from his pretentious face would be so worth it, but Aeleus was his _bro_ , so to speak, and had covered for Braig personally (after more than just a few nights spent on the bathroom floor after just a touch too much ale) with no promise of repayment whatsoever.

"Just take a seat and calm down. The pancakes will be done in no time, and besides, they'll all be here in just a minute." Dilan suggested distractedly as he spooned batter on to the hot griddle at the stove, filling the kitchen with the warm, welcoming scent of cinnamon.

Braig's face suddenly perked and a slow, sly grin spread across his tired, sharp face. Take a seat, indeed...

Master Ansem entered first, just a few minutes later as Dilan had predicted, perhaps brought on by the alluring scent of those perfect pancakes. His steps were measured, good-natured as he gave them his usual polite greetings. "How delightful, Dilan. Thank you." He commented, just as he did every single morning, mostly to remind himself of Dilan's name and purpose around the castle. For all he knew these days, the burly man was more a cook than a guard. Even knew the details; no need to get overly involved.

The lead apprentice followed closely behind, his stride quite a bit more stiff than usual as he flipped through his notes, hardly noticing the other two guards as he rushed instinctively for the coffee. Even's hair was freshly washed, and only a trained eye could catch how the long strands of it were hiding some rather telling bruises on his neck.

Aeleus was last, careful apparently not to follow too closely after Even as to arise suspicions. He shared a glance with Even that lasted far too long though, Braig noted. _Amateurs_. The freeshooter seethed, shooting glares at both of them, the damn guilty party and their nighttime escapades. It didn't seem as though either of them could be bothered enough to notice though.

"Even!" Braig greeted brightly, his voice near to an uncomfortable shout. "You look tired. Are you alright?" The entire assembled party looked up and over to Even, who had just put the ninth spoonful of sugar in his coffee mug.

"I-I-" He stuttered.

"Why, yes, Even. You do seem a bit taxed now that you mention it, Braig." Ansem agreed, yet again reminding himself who 'Guard #2' was. He approached Even and placed a concerned hand on his arm. "Have you been getting enough sleep?"

"Yeah, Even. Have you been sleeping? What have you possibly been doing when you were _supposed_ to be _sleeping_?" Braig plowed on mercilessly through clenched teeth, ignoring the pleading glances and hand motions Aeleus was giving him from over Master Ansem's shoulder.

"I know how you can be with your late night experimentation." Ansem sighed.

Braig barked another slightly hysterical laugh. "Oh, don't we all!" Even turned a deep shade of pink from under his cornsilk hair as he kept his eyes glued to his ultra-sweet coffee. Aeleus coughed uncomfortably and upset the glass of milk which he was pouring. He rushed to clean it up off the counter rather clumsily. "Why don't you just relax, Even?" Braig said amiably, giving him a solid thump on the back, causing the young scientist to tense suddenly in pain.

Perfect. They were just a rowdy last night as they typically were. The gits.

"Why don't you take a seat, buddy?" Braig sneered, pulling out a chair and, with a final wicked look of triumph at Aeleus, slammed Even down into it with a painfully solid thunk.

Even bit his lip to keep from screeching, his eyes watering in pain so terribly that he couldn't quite spot that his coffee had now spilled over the table and he was holding a pitifully half empty mug in his shaking hands. All he could seem to concentrate on was his rather tenderly smarting hind-quarters, which left little to no room for any retaliation towards Braig. He breathed out a slow, shaky sigh.

Aeleus looked from Braig to Ansem to Even and then back again, probably caught between wanting to punch the first, make excuses to the second and jump to the third's rescue. He did none of these things, and instead stood poised between all of them, accomplishing absolutely nothing, not even cleaning up his spilt milk.

Dilan burned his first ever pancake. He was too busy laughing into his hand, faking a coughing fit to attend to it.

Ansem noticed nothing, of course.

"Look how splendidly you're getting on." He said with a wide, pitying smile at the two of them, as though their little minds could not possibly comprehend how very simple they were to his extreme intelligence. How comforting the antics of lesser individuals of the world could be. Sighing contentedly, he turned back to Dilan to check on the true matter at hand.

"So, when can we eat?"


End file.
